Light Amusements
This is yet another page that's a bit sparse at the moment. Eventually I hope it will be a fun page to visit, though. I plan to post all the humourous things people are always emailing me with. Basically, this means none of these are mine, I'm just passing them on so others can enjoy their cleverness, stupidity, silliness, whatever. If at all possible I will credit the creator, but since, as I said, these are all things people emailed to me, sometimes the origins are lost in the ether (in which case I'll note that and ask the originator to come forward and take their due credit). For now I'll just post this one thing, and if you check back in the future you can see more good stuff.

KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
(True Story)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from he r head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loudnoise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.